Sometimes If You Have A Difficult Decisin

Last Night The Taliban Offered To Release Eight Westerners If The U.s. Promised Not To Attack. The State Department Declined But Thanked The Taliban For The Offer, Saying It Really Felt Good To Laugh Again.

This Worked Out Perfectly For Me In College, Because What Nineteen-year-old Virginia Boy Doesn't Want A Wide-hipped, Sarcastic Greek Girl With Short Hair That's Permed On Top? What's That You Say? None Of Them Want That? You Are Correct.

If A Bout Of "creepy Face" Sets In, The Trick Is To Look Away From The Camera Between Shots And Turn Back Only When Necessary. This Also Limits How Much Of Your Soul The Camera Can Steal.

Instead Of Trying To Fit An Impossible Ideal, I Took A Personal Inventory Of All My Healthy Body Parts For Which I Am Grateful: Straight Greek Eyebrows. They Start At The Hairline At My Temple And, Left Unchecked, Will Grow Straight Across My Face And Onto Yours.

Ah, Babies! They’re More Than Just Adorable Little Creatures On Whom You Can Blame Your Farts.