Sometimes The Crowd Is The Madness -

I Make No Apology For Preoccupying Myself With Architecture, Television, Conceptual Art, Restaurants And Jane Asher's Cakes.

I Enjoy Doing Very High Mileages, Partly Out Of Masochism And Also Because I Like To Feel The Shape Of The Landscape.

I Think Of Writing As A Sculptural Medium. You Are Not Building Things. You Are Removing Things, Chipping Away At Language To Reveal A Living Form.

The Only Proper Suit-and-tie Job I've Had In My Life Was The Two Years In The Late 1980s When I Ran A Small Corporate Publishing Company. I Even Had A Ford Sierra!

Regard Yourself As A Small Corporation Of One. Take Yourself Off On Team-building Exercises (long Walks). Hold A Christmas Party Every Year At Which You Stand In The Corner Of Your Writing Room, Shouting Very Loudly To Yourself While Drinking A Bottle Of White Wine. Then Masturbate Under The Desk. The Following Day You Will Feel A Deep And Cohering Sense Of Embarrassment.