Spinsterhood Is Nature's Own Feminism.

Hereditary Monarchy Offers Numerous Advantages For America. It Is The Only Form Of Government Able To Unify A Heterogeneous People. Thanks To Centuries Of Dynastic Marriage, The Family Tree Of Every Royal House Is An Ethnic Grab Bag With Something For Everybody. We Need This Badly; America Is The Only Country In The World Where You Can Suffer Culture Shock Without Leaving Home. We Can't Go On Much Longer Depending Upon Disasters Like Pearl Harbor And The Iranian Hostage-taking To "bring Us Together.

There Is Nothing Wrong With "women's Studies" That Studying The Right Women Can't Cure, But Feminist Literary Scholars Have A Penchant For Dragging The Rivers Of Deserved Obscurity For Third-rate Neurotics.

Thank God I'm Over The Hill. The Only Heat I Have Left Comes From Hot Flashes, My Promiscuity Is Confined To The Words "one Size Fits All," And I Buy My White Cotton Unmentionables At Boadicea's Retreat, Not Victoria's Secret. None Of The Things Men Do To Women Could Possibly Happen To Me Now Unless The U.s. Is Invaded By One Of Those New Russian Republics Whose Soldiers Aren't Fussy.

Owning Your Own Home Is America's Unique Recipe For Avoiding Revolution And Promoting Pseudo-equality At The Same Time. To Keep Citizens Puttering In Their Yards Instead Of Sputtering On The Barricades, The Government Has Gladly Deprived Itself Of Billions In Tax Revenues By Letting Home Owners Deduct Mortgage Interest Payments.

I Do Believe In Reincarnation, But I Do Not Believe There Is Life Before Noon.