Strictly Speaking, The Land Does Not Exist;

There Are Many Mysteries In Old Age But The Greatest, Surely, Is This: In Those Adverts For Walk-in Bathtubs, Why Doesn't All The Water Gush Out When You Get In?

Sadly, As With So Much About History's Heroes, It's The Spotting Of Potential Fame That's The Difficulty, Whether It's Publishing Their Poems, Hanging Their Paintings, Or Buying Their Old Underwear. Think Of The Great Men Whose Lives Passed In Penury And Hacking Coughs Due To Public Unawareness That Their Littlest Possession Would End Up At Sothebys Or The Basement At Fort Knox.

Democracy Consists Of Choosing Your Dictators, After They've Told You What You Think It Is You Want To Hear.

A Humorist Tells Himself Every Morning, "i Hope It's Going To Be A Rough Day." When Things Are Going Well, It's Much Harder To Make The Right Jokes.

The Word "souvenir" Has, Of Course, Slightly Extended Itself In Meaning Until It Now Denotes Almost Anything Either Breakable Or Useless; But Even Today, Ninety Per Cent Of The Items Covered By The Word Are Forgettable Objects In Which Cigarettes Can Be Left To Go Stale.