Sure I Smoked Pot In Hospital. My

You Know You're Ugly When You Go To The Proctologist And He Sticks His Finger In Your Mouth.

When My Wife Drives, There's Always Trouble. The Other Day She Took The Car. She Came Home. She Told Me, There's Water In The Carburetor. I Asked Her, Where's The Car? She Said, In A Lake.

Better To Keep Quiet And Let People Think You're An Idiot Than Speak Up And Confirm It.

What A Childhood I Had - I Was Ten Years Old When I Found Out Alpo Was Dog Food.

With Girls I Get No Respect. A Belly Dancer Told Me I Turned Her Stomach.