The Best Time To Have A Baby

Everybody Blames The Jews For Killing Christ, And The Jews Try To Pass It Off On The Romans. I'm One Of The Few People Who Believes It Was The Blacks.

Some People Say My Humor Focuses Too Much On Stereotypes. It Doesn't. It Focuses On Facts.

Don't Tell Girls They Can Be Anything They Want When They Grow Up. Because It Would Have Never Occurred To Them That They Couldn't. It's Like Saying, 'hey, When You Get In The Shower, I'm Not Gonna Read Your Diary.' 'wait--are You Gonna Read My Diary?' 'no! I Said I'm Not Gonna Read Your Diary. Go Take A Shower!'

I Think I've Been Called Edgy - But In All Honestly, There Is A Safety In What I Do Because I'm Always The Idiot.

Strippers Should Be Role-models For Little Girls. If Only For The Fact That They Wax Their Assholes.