The Best You Can Hope For In

Scientists Will Eventually Stop Flailing Around With Solar Power And Focus Their Efforts On Harnessing The Only Truly Unlimited Source Of Energy On The Planet: Stupidity. I Predict That In The Future, Scientists Will Learn How To Convert Stupidity Into Clean Fuel.

There Are Very Few Personal Problems That Cannot Be Solved Through A Suitable Application Of High Explosives.

For Five Hundred Dollars, I'll Name A Subatomic Particle After You. Some Of My Satisfied Customers Include Arthur C. Quark And George Meson.

Some Physicists Describe Gravity In Terms Of Ten Dimensions All Curled Up. But Those Aren't Real Words-just Placeholders, Used To Refer To Parts Of Abstract Equations.

The Children Are Our Future. And That Is Why, Ultimately, We're Screwed Unless We Do Something About It. If You Haven't Noticed, The Children Who Are Our Future Are Good-looking, But They Aren't All That Bright. As Dense As They Might Be, They Will Eventually Notice That Adults Have Spent All The Money, Spread Disease, And Turned The Planet Into A Smoky, Filthy Ball Of Death. We're Raising An Entire Generation Of Dumb, Pissed-off Kids Who Know Where The Handguns Are Kept. This Is Not A Good Recipe For A Happy Future.