The Country Can't Get Well If The

When The Tabloids Photograph Me When I'm Out, I Always Say: "you Know What, Folks? I'm Not Married And I'm Not Gay. You Caught Me With A Hot Chick. You Got Me. Take Me To Hot-chick Jail. Did It Again. Guilty."

The Only Sport I Really Get Into Is Snowboarding. Cause That's The Only Sport Where They Perform A Half Pipe Just After Smoking A Full Pipe.

The Difference Between The Three Abrahamic Religions: Christianity - Mumbling To The Ceiling, Judaism - Mumbling To The Wall, Islam - Mumbling To The Floor.

Also, In The Category Of 'obvious But Still Shocking,' An Animal Called A 'killer Whale' Killed Someone Who Was Trying To Play With It. Now, No One Knows Exactly What Enraged The Whale, But Earlier In The Week, It Had Been Thrown Off A Flight By Southwest Airlines.

Religion Is Defined As Belief In And Worship Of A Controlling Power And Atheism Is Precisely Not That.