The Divorce Has Lasted Way Longer Than

Maintenance Is What You Have To Do Just So You Can Walk Out The Door Knowing That If You Go To The Market And Bump Into A Guy Who Once Rejected You, You Won't Have To Hide Behind A Stack Of Canned Food. I Don't Mean To Be Too Literal About This.

Don't You Love New York In The Fall? It Makes Me Want To Buy School Supplies. I Would Send You A Bouquet Of Newly Sharpened Pencils If I Knew Your Name And Address.

Reading Is The Unbelievably Healthy Way My Attention Deficit Disorder Medicates Itself. Reading Is Escape, And The Opposite Of Escape; It's A Way To Make Contact With Reality After A Day Of Making Things Up.

Let's Face It: Part Of Being A Grownup Is That Every Day You Have To Choose Between Going Out At Night Or Staying Home, And It Is One Of Life's Unhappy Truths That There Is Not Enough Time To Do Both.

Working As A Journalist Is Exactly Like Being The Wallflower At An Orgy. I Always Seem To Find Myself At A Perfectly Wonderful Event Where Everyone Else Is Having A Marvelous Time, Laughing Merrily, Eating, Drinking, Having Sex In The Back Room, And I Am Standing On The Side Taking Notes On It All.