The Fact That Dogs Are Not People

You May Never Learn The Names Of Any Of The People You Talk To In A Dog Park, Even After Many, Many Hours Spent There With Them, And Many Hours Of Conversation. But If - Knock On Wood - Anything Should Ever Happen To Your Dog, These Nameless Non-strangers Will Rally, Sympathize, Offer To Help, And Hold Your Hand. I Know This From Experience.

I Think The Real Reason Is That Life Has No Meaning. I Mean, No Obvious Meaning. You Wake Up, You Go To Work, You Do Stuff. I Think Everybody's Always Looking For Something A Little Unusual That Can Preoccupy Them And Help Pass The Time.

Buying A Car Used To Be An Experience So Soul-scorching, So Confidence-splattering, So Existentially Rattling That An Entire Car Company Was Based On The Promise That You Wouldn't Have To Come In Contact With It.

It Is Hard To Imagine Thomas Kinkade As Anything Less Than Supremely Self-assured.

Oversized Houses, Like Oversized Cars, Seem To Be A Particularly American Fixation.