The Good News Is, President Obama Was

If You're A Car Salesman, And Someone Says "this Is A Terrible Car, I'm Not Buying It," It Doesn't Mean They Hate You. They Just Don't Like Your Product. I Think That's A Mistake A Lot Of People In Show Business Make.. They're So Tied To Their Act They Take Everything Personally.

After Saying The Jobs Bill Is Paid For, President Obama Now Says That It Will Be Paid For By Raising Taxes Over 10 Years. I Can't Figure Out If He's The Kind Of Guy Who Makes Infomercials, Or The Kind Of Guy Who Falls For Infomercials.

A Dead Body Was Discovered This Week On The Grounds Of A Country Estate Owned By Queen Elizabeth. The Queen Said Today She Hopes This Serves As A Reminder To Anybody On Her Staff That There Is A Right Way And A Wrong Way To Polish Sterling Silver.

The Mirror Interviewed One Of Osama Bin Laden's Sons And Said Bin Laden Has 42 Children. That's Going To Happen When You Sleep In A Different Cave Every Night.

John Kerry Fell Off Of His Bicycle Over The Weekend. He Went For A Sunday Afternoon Ride, Fell Off In Front Of The News Media. Luckily, His Hair Broke The Fall So It's Not As Serious. ... Thankfully, Senator Kerry Was Not Seriously Injured. In Fact, When The Police Arrived, Kerry Was Well Enough To Give Conflicting Reports To The Officers About What Happened.