The Good News Is, President Obama Was

In Chicago Some Anti-mitt Romney Protesters Told Reporters They're Being Paid To Protest. They Said They're Being Paid By Democrats To Stand Outside And Chant Anti-romney Slogans. Well, Who Says President Obama Isn't Creating Any New Jobs?

Actually, You Know Who Gave The Shortest Inauguration Speech In History? George Washington. It Was Only Like Three Minutes Long. Well, Sure. George Washington Couldn't Tell A Lie.

The Good News Is, The Stock Market Is Closed And It Can't Hurt Us Again Until Tomorrow.

The New England Journal Of Medicine Reports That 9 Out Of 10 Doctors Agree That 1 Out Of 10 Doctors Is An Idiot.

Warren Buffett's Company Reportedly Owes The Irs A Billion Dollars In Back Taxes. When He Said He Wasn't Paying Enough Taxes, He Wasn't Kidding.