The Idea That Men Are From Mars

I Get The Playboy Thing A Lot. People Assume I Go Out With Bimbos. I Couldn`t Go Out With Bimbos If I Tried! I Scare Them Off! The Women That Like Me Are Smart. So I Go To The Playboy Mansion Four Or Five Times A Year, But People Think I Go All The Time.

Ask Your Doctor If Getting Off Your Ass Is Right For You

I Don't Know If Anybody From My Tribe Of Atheists Ever Thanked [barack Obama] For Giving Us A Shout-out At Your First Inaugural, But You Did Mention Non-believers. We Appreciate It. Because We Do Feel Like Untouchables To A Degree.

Their [republicans] Approach To A Woman's Body Is The Same As Their Approach To The Economy: They Have No Idea How It Works, But They're Eager To Screw With It Anyway.

Down In Texas, Rick Perry Announced He Will Not Run For Reelection. He Said 'i Executed One Last Woman, That Fertilizer Plant Exploded, I Returned Abortions To Back Alleys Where It Belongs, My Work Here Is Done.' I Think That's What He Said, He Was Chewing A Crayon.