The Idea That Men Are From Mars

New Rule: Gay Marriage Won't Lead To Dog Marriage. It Is Not A Slippery Slope To Rampant Inter-species Coupling. When Women Got The Right To Vote, It Didn't Lead To Hamsters Voting. No Court Has Extended The Equal Protection Clause To Salmon. And For The Record, All Marriages Are "same Sex" Marriages. You Get Married, And Every Night, It's The Same Sex.

The Country Can't Get Well If The People Are Sick. And The People Are Sick.

The Reason I Love My Dog So Much Is Because When I Come Home, He's The Only One In The World Who Treats Me Like I'm The Beatles.

Paul Revere Was Warning The British About Gun Control, And George Washington Apparently Was Crossing The Delaware To Bomb An Abortion Clinic.

One Of The Reasons I Still Do Stand-up Is Because It Was So Hard In The Beginning That I Feel Like It Would Be Such A Shame Not To Redeem It That It's All Fun.