The Ideal Beauty Is A Fugitive Which

I Caused My Husband's Heart Attack. In The Middle Of Lovemaking I Took The Paper Bag Off My Head. He Dropped The Polaroid And Keeled Over And So Did The Hooker. It Would Have Taken Me Half An Hour To Untie Myself And Call The Paramedics, But Fortunately The Great Dane Could Dial.

My Routines Come Out Of Total Unhappiness. My Audiences Are My Group Therapy.

I've Learned To Have Absolutely No Regrets About Any Jokes I've Ever Done. You Can Tune Me Out, You Can Click Me Off, It's Ok. I Am Not Going To Bow To Political Correctness.

Life Goes By Fast. Enjoy It...everyone Gets So Upset About The Wrong Things.

In Every Human Endeavor, Persistence Is Everything.