The Jewel In The Baby Product Crown

Upstate New York In The Middle Of October. You Can't Get More Beautiful Than That.

When You Realize You Would Consider Not Having A Child Just So You Could Take An Occasional Snooze And Be Available To See Batman Retires The Same Weekend It Comes Out, You Have To Take A Good Hard Look At Yourself And Acknowledge, I Am A Shallow, Shallow Person.

I'm Not Smart Enough To Write About Something That Didn't Actually Happen To Me. But I Couldn't Write A Space Movie If You Put A Gun To My Head.

It Was Trying To Make My Tennis Game Look Mildly Respectable, Which I Found You Don't Even Really Need To Practice If You Have A Really Good Editor. They Can Edit It And You're Like, "hey, It Looks Like I'm Playing Really Well." That Was The Fun Part, But It Was Like Going To Summer Camp.

So Where Did These Cravings Come From? I Concluded It's The Baby Ordering In. Prenatal Takeout. Even Without Ever Being In A Restaurant, Fetuses Develop Remarkably Discerning Palates, And They Are Not Shy About Demanding What They Want. If They Get A Hankering, They Just Pick Up The Umbilical Cord And Call. 'you Know What Would Taste Good Right Now? A Cheeseburger, Large Fries, And A Vanilla Shake. And If You Could, Hurry It Up, Because I'm Supposed To Grow A Lung In A Half Hour.'