The Last Thing We Need Is Another

I Can't Pretend That I'm A Great Student Of The Art Of Comedy Because Anybody That Becomes Philosophical About Humor Doesn't Know What He's Talking About.

They Call It Football, But The Object Of The Game Is To Bash The Other Guy So Hard That He's Eventually Carried Off The Field On A Stretcher. I Can't Watch Football Anymore. My Psychiatrist Said It's Better That Way. I Used To Watch A Game, See The Players In A Huddle - And Think They Were Talking About Me.

The New York Times Does An Unbelievable Amount Of Damage Because Every Day Television And Radio Stations Along With The Rest Of Media Take Their Lead On The Way The News Should Be Presented Along With What Actually Is The News.

On The Murder Of New York Deli Owner Abe Lebewohl: It's Almost Like Wiping Out Carnegie Hall. A Sandwich To A Jew Is Just As Important As A Country To A Gentile.

Prostitutes Go To Jail. Their Customers Go Home And Read The New York Times. In This Country You're Allowed To Buy Anything. If You Need A Shirt, You Have A Right To Buy It. If You Need Sex, You Don't. What's More Important, Sex Or A Shirt?