The Nfl Draft Is Going To Be

The Other Night, President Bush's Press Conference Was Pre-empted By 'american Idol.' You Know The Difference Between President Bush And 'american Idol?' See, On 'american Idol,' The One With The Most Votes Wins.

I Wanted To Have A Career In Sports When I Was Young, But I Had To Give Up The Idea. I'm Only Six Feet Tall, So I Couldn't Play Basketball. I'm Only 190 Pounds, So I Couldn't Play Football, And I Have 20/20 Vision, So I Couldn't Be A Referee.

The Globe Reports That North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-il Raises Money By Selling Fake Viagra Pills. What It Is About This Guy? None Of His Missiles Seem To Launch.

The Nation's Largest Savings And Loan, Washington Mutual, Has Become The Biggest Bank Failure In History. See, The Problem With The Savings And Loans? Not Enough Savings, Too Many Stupid Loans, Okay In Fact, They Changed Their Name From Wamu To 'screw You.'

There Are Reports On The News Tonight That Members Of The Taliban Feel Persecuted And Fear Their Own Safety. So Now They Know What It Is Like To Feel Like A Woman In Their Country.