The Nice Thing About Southerners Is The

The Confidence And Security Of A People Can Be Measured By Their Attitude Toward Laxatives. At The High Noon Of The British Sun, Soldiers In Far-flung Outposts Of The Empire Doctored Themselves With "a Spoonful O' Gunpowder In A Cuppa 'ot Tea." Purveyors And Users Of Harsh Laxatives Were Not Afraid Of Being Thought Mean And Unfriendly Just Because Their Laxatives Were. But In America, The Need To Be Nice Is So Consuming That Nobody Would Dare Take A Laxative That Makes You Run Up The Stairs Two At A Time, Pushing Others Aside And Yelling, "get Out Of The Way!

I Have A Professional Acquaintance Whose Recent Eyelid Job Has Left Her With A Permanent Expression Of Such Poleaxed Astonishment That She Looks At All Times As If She Had Just Read One Of My Books.

The Nice Thing About Southerners Is The Way We Enjoy Our Neuroses.

Spinsterhood Is Nature's Own Feminism.

America Is Not A Democracy, It's An Absolute Monarchy Ruled By King Kid. In A Nation Of Immigrants, The Child Is Automatically More Of An American Than His Parents. Americans Regard Children As What Mr. Hudson In Upstairs, Downstairs Called Betters. Aping Their Betters, American Adults Do Their Best To Turn Themselves Into Children. Puerility Exercises Droit De Seigneur Everywhere.