The Older I Get, The Faster I

To Me, There's Only 5 Real Jobs In America: Police Officers, Teachers, Firefighters, Doctors, And The Military Service.

If You Go Out With A Girl And They Say She Has A Great Personality, She's Ugly. If They Tell You A Guy Works Hard, He Can't Play A Lick. Same Thing.

I Read That Heavy Drinking Is Bad For Your Health. I Decided I Better Stop Reading.

You Know What I Always Say About Basketball Whenever Anybody Tried To Tell Me The Knicks Are Gonna Be Good: They're Old. Old People Don't Get Healthy. They Die.

He's Got To Bring Something Stronger Than That. That's Like Bringing Milk To A Bar, It's Not Strong Enough