The One Thing You Shouldn't Do Is

Congrats To Prince William And Kate Middleton, Who Welcomed A Baby Girl On Saturday. The Royal Baby Weighed Eight Pounds - Or Around 12 American Dollars.

Three Of Donald Trump's Kids Have Come Forward To Defend Him, And Called Him 'an Incredible Dad And Role Model.' Donald Was So Moved That He Wrote One Of Them Back Into His Will. 'i'm Not Gonna Tell You Which One . . . It's Donald Jr.'

Both President Obama And Former President George W. Bush Were Interviewed On 'face The Nation' Over The Weekend. President Bush Said There's A 50 Percent Chance His Brother Jeb Will Run For President In 2016. Then He Said, 'but There's An 80 Percent Chance He Won't.'

Apple Is Developing A Service Called Home Kit That Will Allow People To Operate Gadgets Like Garage Openers And Thermostats Through One App. In Related News, Please Don't Tell My Parents About This. I Can't Be Explaining This Stuff Every Week.

According To A New Survey, Almost Half Of The Voters In Ohio, Florida, And Pennsylvania Say That They Do Not Trust Hillary Clinton. Republicans Immediately Got Together And Said, 'ok, This Is A Huge Opportunity For Us. How Are We Going To Screw It Up?'