The Term 'working Mother' Is Redundant.

Never Underestimate What It Takes To Watch Someone You Love In Pain.

My Mind Works . . . Two Boobs Never Get Me A Job.

I Was Terrible At Straight Items. When I Wrote Obituaries, My Mother Said The Only Thing I Ever Got Them To Do Was Die In Alphabetical Order.

I Was A Closet Pacifier Advocate. So Were Most Of My Friends. Unknown To Our Mothers, We Owned Thirty Or Forty Of Those Little Suckers That Were Placed Strategically Around The House So A Cry Could Be Silenced In Less Than Thirty Seconds. Even Though Bottles Were Boiled, Rooms Disinfected, And Germs Fought One On One, No One Seemed To Care Where The Pacifier Had Been.

I'm On A Diet As My Skin Doesn't Fit Me Anymore.