The Test Of A Good Idea Is

Football Is A Game Designed To Keep Coal Miners Off The Streets.

Speaks Cheerful English And In The Past Has Written This Language With A Paintbrush That Talks.

Out In The Ocean, A Rope Is Put Around The Man's Neck. The Other End Of The Rope Is Attached To An Old Jukebox And It Is Thrown Overboard. The Man Invariably Follows.

Journalism Schools Are Good To Get A Job, But I Don't Know What Else They Are Good For. I Don't Like The Word "journalism" To Begin With. It's News Reporting, And That Consists Of Using Your Two Feet. The Only Lesson, Then, That You Could Give People Is How To Climb Stairs, Because There Are No Stories On The First Floor.

Journalism Should Be Truthful And Entertaining. You Know, With News And Important Facts You Can Entertain People Too. Have A Little Humor. Life Isn't All That Deadly All The Time, But While You're Having Fun, Tell The Truth. If Every Word Of A Column Is Deadly Serious, I Can't Read It. It Makes Me Throw Up.