The Work Of Art Is A Stuffed

I Am Dying. Please ... Bring Me A Toothpick.

Applause That Comes Thundering With Such Force You Might Think The Audience Merely Suffers The Music As An Excuse For Its Ovations.

Anti-alcoholics Are Unfortunates In The Grip Of Water, That Terrible Poison, So Corrosive That Out Of All Substances It Has Been Chosen For Washing And Scouring, And A Drop Of Water Added To A Clear Liquid Like Absinthe, Muddles It.

The Virtue Of Dress Rehearsals Is That They Are A Free Show For A Select Group Of Artists And Friends Of The Author, And Where For One Unique Evening The Audience Is Almost Expurgated Of Idiots.

It Is One Of The Great Joys Of Home Ownership To Fire A Pistol In One's Own Bedroom