The World Can Be Such A Fright,

Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving. All The Food's In The Oven. And I'm In The Bedroom Performin' Self Lovin'.

Former President George W. Bush Released His New Memoir. By The Way, 'memoir' Is Just A Fancy Word For 'a Bunch Of Stuff That Happened To Me.

Larry King Has Been Married More Times Than Henry The Eighth. We Used To Have That Rhyme To Keep Track Of Them. 'divorced, Beheaded, Died. Divorced, Beheaded, Survived.' With Larry I Think It Goes, 'divorced, Beheaded, Divorced, Escaped. Zombie, Lesbian, Disappeared, Inflatable.

The Virus In The Movie 'contagion' Is Based On The Bird Flu Which Came Out Of Nowhere Back In 2008. Everyone Thought It Was Going To Change The Way We Live And It Just Faded Away. Wait A Minute, I'm Talking About President Obama.

The Smurfs 2 Is A Great Movie. The Smurfs Are Tiny Little Creatures That Everybody Loves. They're Like Justin Bieber - Minus The Part About Everybody Loving Him.