The World Can Be Such A Fright,

They've Found A Link Between Chemicals In Shampoo And Obesity. If You're Eating Shampoo, Your Weight Is The Least Of Your Concerns.

If A Man Doesn't Know How To Dance He Doesn't Know How To Make Love, There I Said It!

Democrats In State Legislatures Are At Their Lowest Level Since The 1920s. President Obama Has A Can't-miss Strategy To Save The Party In 2016. He's Leaving.

Occasionally, When I Lived In London, I Would Have Sex With A Girl From An Aristocratic Family. I Always Enjoyed Doing To Them What Their Ancestors Did To My Country.

Valentine's Day Is Celebrated A Little Differently Here In L.a. Nobody Eats Chocolate Because Of The Calories, So People Give Each Other Tofu-shaped Boxes Filled With Bean Curd. Then They Fantasize About What Their Pilates Instructor Would Be Like If He Was Straight.