The Worst Gift I Was Given Is

My Mother Was Tickled And I Think Kind Of Proud When My Father Got Hit On My An Attractive Middle-aged Asian Lady Who Hadn't Noticed He Was With His Family. He Was Certainly Pleased About It.

A Lot Of People Come To L.a. Looking For Something. What I Came Here For, I Realize Now, Is To Be Okay With Myself.

Now That Healthcare Is Guaranteed, I'm Frying Everything I Eat. Fried Food And Cigarettes.

The First Day Of Spring Is Known As The Vernal Equinox. The Equinox Is Special. It Only Happens Twice A Year, Like A Good Night In Ratings For Nbc.

In The Past I've Been Hard On The Vegans. I've Called Them Prius-driving Fascists, But Now I Am One Of Them. I Have Been Turned To The Dark Side.