There Are Lots Of Things That Happen

Everyone Looks Retarded Once You Set Your Mind To It.

To Say That A Humorist Exaggerates To Get Big Laughs, I Don't See How That's Big News.

People Ask If I Miss It, But They Don't Understand That American Culture Is So Ubiquitous That There's Nothing To Miss. I Don't See Myself Moving Back. It's Not That I Hate The United States. I Just Always Thought It Would Be A Shame Not To Live In A Foreign Country.

A Week After My Drugs Ran Out, I Left My Bed To Perform At The College, Deciding At The Last Minute To Skip Both The Doughnut Toss And The March Of The Headless Plush Toys. Instead, I Just Heated Up A Skillet Of Plastic Soldiers, Poured A Milkshake Over My Head And Called It A Night.

There Is Still The Outside World To Contend With. A World Of Backfiring Cars, And Their Human Equivalents.