There Are Three Signs Of Old Age:

Laughter Has Always Brought Me Out Of Unhappy Situations.

I Don't Hate My Enemies. After All, I Made 'em.

Imitation Isn't The Sincerest Form Of Flattery - It's Plagiarism.

I Asked My Wife Where She Wanted To Go For Our Anniversary. 'somewhere I Haven't Been In A Long Time!' She Said. So I Suggested The Kitchen.

I Was A Sober As The Next Guy. The Only Problem Is The Next Guy Was Dean Martin