There Hasn't Been An Original Voice In

Man, Them Engagement Rings, Boy, They Cost A Lot. I Was Looking At 'em. Cost Like A Thousand Bucks, Two Thousand Bucks, Y'know. Three Thousand Bucks. Something Like That- Four Thousand Bucks. Big Number Divisible By A Thousand, Anyways.

Comedy Is Surprises, So If You're Intending To Make Somebody Laugh And They Don't Laugh, That's Funny.

Hypocrisy Is The Outward Acknowledgment Of Inward Shame.

On Update, The Only Real Original Thing Was Trying To Take Away The Cleverness Of The Punchline And Make It As Blunt As Possible.

With The Ambitious, The Failure Of One Expedient Is The Suggestion Of Another; But With The Irresolute, Defeat Usually Occasions Abandonment Of Purpose.