There Is A Sort Of Charm In

When You Do Laugh, Open Your Mouth Wide Enough For The Noise To Get Out Without Squealing, Throw Your Head Back As Though You Were Going To Be Shaved, Hold On To Your False Hair With Both Hands And Then Laugh Till Your Soul Gets Thoroughly Rested.

Menny Think Tha Luv Their Husbands Almost Tew Deth, When In Fack, Tha Are Only Jealous Ov Them.

I Haven't Got As Much Money As Some Folks, But I've Got As Much Impudence As Any Of Them, And That's The Next Thing To Money.

Rumor Is A Vagrant Without A Home, And Lives Upon What It Can Pick Up.

The Morning Paper Is Just As Necessary For An American As Dew Is To The Grass.