There Is Never Enough Time, Unless You're

When A Fissure Off The California Coast Started Pumping And Dumping Oil On The Nearby Towns And Beaches, Everybody Started Dumping On Union Oil. Matters Weren't Helped One Iota By A Manufactured Quotation Attributed To Union's President, Fred Hartley, Alleging His Amazement At The Publicity For The Loss Of A Few Birds.... Fred Hartley Never Said What The Press Reported, As The Transcript And The Senate Committee Members Definitely Established. But I Don't Suppose The Truth Will Ever Catch Up With The More Colorful Falsehood.

No One Ever Dies Wishing They'd Spent More Time At The Office.

A Big Cigar In A Young Face Requires The Best Of Both.

An Inadequate Chief Executive Officer's Time At The Top Is Always Too Long No Matter How Short.

Speaking Of Birthdays, Our Firstborn [recently Turned 2]. As Parents Sometimes Fondly Do, We Reminisced A Bit About His Early Days On Earth-the Excitement, The Wonder, The Fears When We Brought Him Home. His Every Squeak Or Squawk We Were Sure Heralded Some Terrible Crisis; I Tested The Warmth Of Formulas From Dusk To Dawn, It Seemed. We Were So Germ-conscious My Wife Even Sterilized The Skin Of The Oranges Before Squeezing Them. How Firstborns Ever Survive Their Parents' Attentions Is Beyond Me. However, They Do, And He Did, And, In Spite Of Our Efforts, He Turned Out To Be Quite A Good Guy.