There's A Phrase We Live By In

If A President Must Constantly Remind The People That We're At War, Then We're Not.

New Rule: Someone Must X-ray My Stomach To See If The Peeps I Ate On Easter Are Still In There, Intact And Completely Undigested. And I'm Not Talking About This Past Easter. I'm Talking About The Last Time I Celebrated Easter, In 1962.

In Fact, Because People Are Religious, They Think They Can Do Bad Things.

Catholicism Has Changed Tremendously In Recent Years. Now When Communion Is Served There Is Also A Salad Bar.

A New Biography Came Out That Says That In High School Obama Was A Huge Pothead … Mitt Romney Had To Respond To This And Said, ‘it Is Appalling That Obama Spent His Teenage Years Goofing Around And Smoking Pot When He Should Have Been Pinning Down Gay Kids And Cutting Their Hair.