There's Nothing Like A Hardship Song To

They've Said 'roseanne's Nuts' For Years, And Now I'm Going To Make That A Reality - I'm All About Nuts Now, Macadamia Nuts!

There Isn't Any New Man. The New Man Is The Old Man, Only He Whines More.

Being Nuts Is Its Own Reward.

I Think That All Comics Or Humorists, Or Whatever We Are, Ask Questions. That's What We're Supposed To Do. But I Not Only Ask The Questions, I Offer Solutions.

Those Who Can't Do, Teach. And, As Woody Allen Says, Those Who Can't Teach, Teach Gym. And, As I Say, Those Who Can't Teach Gym Become Experts. That's Who We Look To For Answers These Days-the People Telling You How To Make Your Marriage Work. Men Telling Women How To Raise Their Self-esteem. The Only Thing That Cures Everything Is Talking To People Who Have The Same Problem You Do. The Rest Is Just A Moneymaking Bullshit Scheme That Some Asshole Is Getting Rich On.