They Asked Me What Year It Was,

I Am Not Today, Nor Have I Ever Been A Jew, And As A Matter Of Fact, I Am Uncircumcised.

I Don't Keep Any Close Friends. I Don't Keep Any Secrets. I Don't Need Friends. I Just Tell Everybody Everything, That's All.

Sometimes Girls Write Me. One Girl In Yugoslavia Sent Me A Whole Slew Of Love Letters. I Don't Know How She Got My Address. She Was In A Crowd Watching Me Play. She Says When I Left There The Stars Fell Out Of The Sky Over Yugoslavia, Or Something Like That.

To Get Squares You Have To Give Up Squares.

I Object To Being Called A Chess Genius Because I Consider Myself To Be An All Around Genius Who Just Happens To Play Chess, Which Is Rather Different. A Piece Of Garbage Like Kasparov Might Be Called A Chess Genius, But He's Like An Idiot Savant. Outside Of Chess He Knows Nothing.