They're Called Virgin Trains Because They Don't

Disney World Has Acquired By Now Something Of The Air Of A National Shrine. American Parents Who Don't Take Their Children There Sense Obscurely That They Have Failed In Some Fundamental Way, Like Muslims Who Never Made It To Mecca.

America Loves The Representation Of Its Heroes To Be Not Just Larger Than Life, But Stupendously, Awesomely Bigger Than Anything Else. If Blue Whales Built Statues To Each Other They'd Be Smaller Then These.

Reagan Is The Only Man To Take The Presidency As A Part-time Job, A Means Of Filling Up The Otherwise Empty Hours Of Retirement.

While It Is Entirely Untrue That Canadians Lack A Sense Of Humour, The Funniest Ones Tend To Head South: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox.

Seeing John Major Govern The Country Is Like Watching Edward Scissorhands Try To Make Balloon Animals.