This Is The Tonight Show. I Can't

Religious Believers Of The World, You Are Free To Continue To Debate The Simple, Narrow Question That Divides You From Atheists, But You Have No Right, In So Doing, To Treat The Humanists Of The World With Contempt. You Owe Them A Deep Debt Of Gratitude, For Not Only Have They Shed Much Light On A Naturally Dark World But They Have Very Probably Helped Civilize Your Own Specific Religion.

Thousands Of Years Ago Only Christ Could Walk On The Water. Today Anybody Can Do It; You Just Step On The Garbage.

There Is Not The Slightest Question But That The God Of The Old Testament Is A Jealous, Vengeful God, Inflicting Not Only On The Sinful Pagans But Even On His Chosen People Fire, Lighting, Hideous Plagues And Diseases, Brimstone, And Other Curses.

To Those Who Wish To Punish Others -- Or At Least To See Them Punished, If The Avengers Are Too Cowardly To Take Matters In To Their Own Hands -- The Belief In A Fiery, Hideous Hell Appears To Be A Great Source Of Comfort.

There Are Hundreds Of Millions Who Believe The Messiah Has Come. If He Did, Then It Is Unfortunately The Case That His Heroic Sacrifice And Death Have Had No Effect Whatsoever On The Very Problem His Coming Might Have Been Expected To Address, For History Demonstrates, Beyond Question, That We Christians Have Been Just As Dangerous, Singly And En Masse, As Non-christians.