To Be A Comedian, You Have To

I'm Glad That Life Isn't Like A Christmas Song, Because If My Friends And I Were Building A Snowman And It Suddenly Came Alive When We Put A Hat On It, I'd Probably Freak And Stab It To Death With An Icicle.

I Used To Spend A Lot Of Time Just Thinking About Myself, Thinking That The Party Started When I Showed Up.

I Always Have The Same Thing - Which Is The Fear Of Not Getting A Laugh - That I've Had From The Time I Was A Kid; Obsessing Over, 'this Joke Doesn't Quite Work, We've Got To Get This Right.' I Was Always Like That, Whether I Was A Member Of A Six-person Ensemble Or Whether I'm The Center Of A Show.

I Became A Big Kings Fan, And Then Later On My Hometown Of Ottawa Got A Team, So Then I Was Very, Very Torn. I Just Love Both Of Those Teams Very Much.

My Sense Of Style Is An Old Polo Shirt, Jeans And, Unfortunately For The Longest Time, White Running Shoes, Which Was Not Attractive. The One Thing I've Learned About Clothes Is To Ask A Girl.