To Put It Kindly, I Am A

People Seem To Be Having These Awesome Sex Lives And I'm Just Trying To Find A Life Partner To Go Apple Picking With. What's Wrong With Me?

I'm Not Good At Anything Except Writing Jokes. I Wasn't Good At Sports, I Wasn't Good At Anything Artsy, Ever. I Think There Was A Real Worry For A While About What I Would Be Good At. I Was Just This Chubby Little Indian Kid Who Looked Like A Nerd.

I'm An A Student. I'm Addicted To Feedback, And I Want To Please People. That's Sort Of How I've Gotten To Where I Am.

Besides, Who Wants To Read About Success, Anyway? Successful Serial Murderers, Maybe.

Colored Leather Is My Favorite. To Me, There's Nothing More Fun Than Wearing A Cobalt Blue Leather Skirt Or A Fuchsia Leather Jacket.