Today Is 11/11/11, A Date So Simple

President Obama Said That Over 40 Countries Have Offered To Help The U.s. Fight Isis. Of Course They Said It The Same Way Your Friends Do When They Promise To Help You Move. 'yeah Just Call Me, You Know, If I'm Around. It'll Be Fun.'

The 'tonight Show' Didn't Seem Like An Actual Job That You Could Have. All You Remember Is You Watched Johnny Carson, And You Never Thought He Would Retire.

Donald Trump's Campaign Has Raised About $100,000 In Donations During The Second Quarter. Which Raises An Important Question: Who Is Giving Donald Trump Money? That's Like Giving Your Money To A Pile Of Money.

While He Was In Utah, Obama Discussed Immigration Reform With Leaders Of The Mormon Church. Obama Introduced The First Lady. Then The Church's President Introduced His First Lady. And His Second Lady. And His Third, Fourth, And Fifth Ladies.

Many People Are Noting The Difference Between Hillary Clinton's Friendly Public Appearances And Her Blunt And Direct Twitter Account. Yeah, She's Nice In Person, And Mean On The Internet. You Know, Kinda Like Everyone.