Total Contentment Is Only For Cows.

Sometimes You Have To Make Your Own Opportunities, And That's Why I'm On Tv. I Wasn't Going To Sit Around Anymore, Waiting For The Damn Phone To Ring. I Had To Create My Own Place - I've Always Done That.

I Think The Essence Of Humor Has Not Changed. It's All About Surprise, Facilitating Follows. But The Context Of Humor Has Changed. Previously, The Jokes Were More Related To Current Issues, Political. Today People Make About Each Other Either Funny Or About People Like Kim Kardashian. It's Brutal. Everything Is So Much Vielschmutziger.

The Only Thing Madonna Will Ever Do Like A Virgin Is Give Birth In A Stable.

I Never Know How Much Of What I Say Is True.

I Celebrate Everyone's Religious Holidays. If It's Good Enough For The Righteous, It's Good Enough For The Self-righteous, I Always Say.