Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving.

I Don't Like The Whole Blowing The Candles Out Ritual... Blowing Their Germs All Over The Cake. If I Want To Catch Something On My Birthday. I Don't Want It To Be From The Cake. If You Know What I'm Saying.

In The 1970s Vampires Were Pretty Boring. The Scariest Vampire Was Count Chocula. One Bite Of Count Chocula And You Were Cursed With Type 2 Diabetes.

Scotland Is A Much Lighter And More Fun Place Than I Thought It Was. I Was Miserable When I Was There. But It Wasn't Scotland's Fault. It Was My Circumstances. I Was - I Hate To Say The Word Humbled - But That's What It Felt Like. I Was Wrong About This Place. This Is A Great Place Full Of Very Fun People.

The Three Drunkest Cities In America: Fresno, Riverside, And Whatever Mel Gibson Is Driving Through.

There Is A New Survey Out About The Happiest Professions. I Think The Whole Premise Is Flawed. You're Supposed To Find True Happiness Outside Of Work. From Friends, Family, And Youtube Videos Of Old People Falling Down.