Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving.

All They Teach You In Drama School Is How To Do Stage Fights And Be A Pain In Rehearsals.

If You Know Anything About Me - And, If You Do, I'm Sorry That Your Life Turned Out Like That.

Why Don't They Allow Professional Wrestling At The Olympics? They Allow Pro Basketball Players And Hockey Players. Olympic Pro Wrestling Would Be Awesome. The Team From Mexico Could Wear Those Mr. X Masks. The French Wrestler Could Hit His Opponent With A Baguette. Or Perhaps Just Surrender.

That's Why Credit Card Companies Are Evil. Are They Sponsoring The Show Tonight? ... They Are Evil.

I Think Comedy Comes More From A Low Sense Of Self-esteem, And I Certainly Have That.