We All Think We're Going To Get

My Mom Ate Every Piece Of Butter In The Midwest, She Lived Till She Was 90. And My Dad, He Smoked, He Drank - We Finally Just Had To Kill Him.

I'm A Big Game Show Fan. When You're A Poor Person, You Watch Game Shows. I Don't Think People Realize That. Maybe Everybody Watches Game Shows, But When You're Poor, You Live Vicariously Through Those People.

I'm A Kid From Minnesota. I Like Seeing Movie Stars! So I'm There At The Ivy, I've Got My Shrimp, Eddie Murphy Comes In With His Gang. I Said To The Waiter, As Any Good Midwestern Boy Would, "hey, Put Eddie's Check On My American Express Card, But Don't Tell Him That I Did It 'til I'm Gone." Next Day I Got A Call From Manager Who Said, "eddie's Doing A Movie, He Was Very Impressed That You Bought Him Lunch." So Remember: Sometimes Buying People Lunch Can Really Work Out Well For You.

One Thing To Remember When You're Successful, Famous, Whatever You Want To Call It - Well-known, Not That Well-known - Whatever You Want To Go. One Thing To Remember Is Your Family's Not Famous, And They're Not Well-known.

I'm Still Working! I Think Of All The Other Comics That Didn't Get The Light Shined On Them, Just Because It's Just How Fame Works, And It's Unfortunate. But There Are So Many Great Comics Out There Who Are Still Working, And I Still See Them.