We Mortals Hear Only The News, And

From Now On Walking Is My Beer And Feeling Good Is My Hangover.

A Woman Is A Lot Like A Refrigerator. Six Feet Tall, 300 Pounds...it Makes Ice.

If They Think I'm Going To Stop At That Stop Sign, They're Mistaken!

Nobody Gets Into Heaven Without A Glowstick.

This Year I Invested In Pumpkins. They've Been Going Up The Whole Month Of October And I Got A Feeling They're Going To Peak Right Around January. Then Bang! That's When I'll Cash In.