We Pick Politicians By How They Look

9% Would Give Up Sex For The Remote Control. 91% Has Already Given Up Sex For The Remote Control!

They Had So Much Rain In New York That A Lot Of The Cabbies Had Their First Shower In Years.

Ratings For The Xfl Are So Low That Pretty Soon They'll Be Able To Address The Viewers By Name.

The Pennsylvania Game Commission Has Charged A Man With Going Deer Hunting With A Handgun In A Wal-mart Parking Lot. He Is Being Charged With Reckless Endangerment, But May Plead Guilty To The Lesser Charge Of Being A Redneck.... Hunting In A Wal-mart Parking Lot. That's Got To Be Some Good Eating — A Deer That Lives On Leftover Twizzlers And Mountain Dew.

Astronomers Have Discovered A Planet That Is Twice The Size Of Earth And Made Of Diamonds. President Obama Says The Planet May Be Inhabited By Aliens Not Paying Their Fair Share.