We're Mexi-cans Not Mexi-can'ts.

By The Time I Was 11, I Wanted To Be A Comedian. So All Those Years Later, I've Managed To Achieve My Dream As A Kid, And It Wasn't Easy. I'm On The [hollywood] Walk Of Fame And I'm One Of The 25 Most Influential Hispanics In America, According To Time Magazine. I Think My Duty Is To Go Back And Tell Kids, 'whatever Color You Are, Wherever You Come From, Anything And Everything Is Possible.' And I'm Living Proof.

Barack Obama May Be Black, But John Mccain Is The First Albino Presidential Candidate: He's Completely See-through!

George: Why've You Had A Grudge Against Your Brother For 15 Years? Benny: We Lopezes Are A Proud People... George: You Have A Birthday Lunch At Denny's Every Month. We're Not That Proud!

Everything We Play When We Are Growing Up, Is Team Related. In This Game (of Golf) You Can Find All The Answers Yourself. You Don't Need To Throw The Ball In The Air And Play Catch With Yourself. You Get A Bucket Of Balls And Go Out There With Your Clubs, And You Hit And Learn And You Get Better. And There's No Top.

Angie, I've Seen My Mom Wrestle Two Cops To The Ground With A Taser Dart In Her Neck, And You Cry When Your Shoes Pinch. Good Luck, Bambi!