Welcome To The 77th And Last Oscars.

I Know What You're Thinking: Why Is Chris Rock Bagging Groceries? But I Dropped Out Of High School In The Tenth Grade, So If I Couldn't Tell Jokes This Is Exactly What I'd Be Doing.

When You Become A Comedian A Lot Of Stuff That Made You Laugh Before Just Stops. You Stop Watching Your Old Cartoons You Used To Watch. You Stop Reading The Funnies. It's Like Working At A Strip Club. You Don't Come Home And Turn On The Playboy Channel.

You Can't Fake Comedy - It's Not Like A Movie, Where A Director Can Just Cast A Pretty Face.

I Like Talking About Subjects That Aren't Funny In The First Place And Making Them Funny. So Anything Down And Depressing Is Something I'll Talk About.

I Want My Name To Be A Brand In Comedy. I Hope My Name Stands For Comedic Excellence.