Well, I'm A 14 Handicap. Anyone Who

It Was Very Nerve-wracking For Me. I Had To Be Drunk And Have A Threesome. I'm Not That Guy. Bobby Cannavale Is That Guy. But It Was Vegas And Things Got Crazy, And It Happened. We Go To Vegas To Try To Sign Elvis Presley And Things Get Crazy. My Character [in Vinyl] Is Stoned.

I Have This Mistress: Show Business.

Whenever I Walk Off The Golf Course, I Thank God That I'm Able To Tell A Joke. I Thank God I'm Good At Something.

If I Have Sex, I Know My Quarterly Estimated Taxes Must Be Due. And If It's Oral Sex, I Know It's Time To Renew My Driver's License.

Everyone Should Have Kids. They Are The Greatest Joy In The World. But They Are Also Terrorists. You'll Realize This As Soon As They Are Born And They Start Using Sleep Deprivation To Break You.