Were We Closer To The Ground As

At The Drabber Moments Of My Life (swilling Some Excrement From The Steps, For Instance, Or Rooting With A Bent Coat-hanger Down A Blocked Sink) Thoughts Occur Like 'i Bet Tom Stoppard Doesn't Have To Do This' Or There Is No Doubt David Hare Would Have Deputed This To An Underling.'

If, For Instance, We'd Made The Film After The Show Had Been To Broadway, It Would Have Been Exactly The Same Film But We Would Have Been Assured That They Would Have Understood It. We Didn't Have To Do Any Alterations For Broadway. I Was Supposed To Go A Fortnight Before It Opened To Alter Anything That Was Necessary And There Was Nothing Really.

My Experience Came Before Most Of You Were Born. My School Was A State School In Leeds And The Headmaster Usually Sent Students To Leeds University But He Didn't Normally Send Them To Oxford Or Cambridge. But The Headmaster Happened To Have Been To Cambridge And Decided To Try And Push Some Of Us Towards Oxford And Cambridge. So, Half A Dozen Of Us Tried - Not All Of Us In History - And We All Eventually Got In. So, To That Extent, It [the History Boys] Comes Out Of My Own Experience.

I Can Walk. It's Just That I'm So Rich I Don't Need To.

No Mention Of God. They Keep Him Up Their Sleeves For As Long As They Can, Vicars Do. They Know It Puts People Off.