What Do They Call That Hat Jewish

My Sister Just Had A Baby, A Little Newborn. The Kid Is Adorable, So Cute. She Wouldn't Let Me Hold Him, She Refuses. She Says, 'no Way, Anthony, I'm Afraid You're Gonna Drop Him.' I'm 32 Years Old. Like I'm Some Kind Of Idiot. Like I Don't Have A Million Other Ways To Hurt That Baby.

I Know Her In The Biblical Senseand When I Say That, I Mean I Don't Believe A Word She Says.

We Just Found Out My Little Brother Has A Peanut Allergy, Which Is Very Serious I Know. But Still I Feel Like My Parents Are Totally Overreacting - They Caught Me Eating A Tiny Little Bag Of Airline Peanuts And They Kicked Me Out Of His Funeral.

I Like Seeing What The Comedian Thinks Is Funny, Not Just What They Think I'll Think Is Funny.

Doctor Just Told Me I Can't Have Kids. I Asked For A Second Opinion. He Said, Why? No One's Gonna To Let You Take Kids From This Hospital.