What Do They Call That Hat Jewish

Whenever I Meet A Pretty Girl, The First Thing I Look For Is Intelligence; Because If She Doesn't Have That, Then She’s Mine.

Do Whatever You Want To Do, Whenever You Want To Do It

Every Comic Went Through Their Mitch Hedberg Phase - The Glasses, The Hair In The Face - And You Knew Immediately When They Were Doing It.

I Was A Weird Kid Because I Liked To Be Alone, But I Craved Attention. It Was Important For Me To Be Cool, But I Couldn't Keep My Mouth Shut. So I Was Either Talking For The Sake Of Talking, Or I Was Curled Up With A Book Somewhere Hiding From Everyone.

I Had A Happy Childhood In A Nice Suburban Area, Pretty Idyllic, Upper Middle Class And Very, Very White. My Dad Is An Attorney. My Mother Is A Housewife. They Had Five Kids In Seven Years: Me, My Brother, And Three Sisters. I'm The Oldest. We Were All Very Active. My Mother Was Exhausted.