What Is Absurd Is Not The Teachings

We Need To Be In The Open Mode When We Are Pondering A Problem, But, Once We Come Up With A Solution, We Must Then Switch To The Closed Mode To Implement It.

I Started To Make Harder Jokes Before Anyone Else Did. And The Producers Would Get Anxious. They'd Say, 'that's A Little Bit Hard-edged, Isn't It?' And I'd Say, 'let's Just Try It And See How The Audience Reacts. If They Don't Like It, Let's Cut It Out.' And The Audience Roared With Laughter, So I Learned You Could Do This Harder Humor And People Loved It.

I Wish You Wusses Would Stop Whining About Your Unhappiness. I'm Really Fed Up With It. Pour Yourself A Scotch And Pull Yourself Together. Go Out And Shoot Something!

The Trouble With The British Is That They Are Not Interested In Ideas. If Jesus Came Back Today And Offered To Speak For An Hour On British Television, They Would Say, "what! Another Talking Head?

The Great Thing About Florida Is You - Each City's About Two Hours' Drive From Everywhere Else.