What Is Thanksgiving Without A Nutty Relative?

There Is Nothing Like A Good Friend To Help You Out When You Are Not In Trouble.

Honesty Is A Virtue, But Not The Only One. If You're In A Courtroom You Need The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth; In The Living Room, Sometimes You Need Anything But. Often.

The Only Way To Enjoy The Fun Of Catching People Behaving Disgustingly Is To Have Children. One Has To Keep Having Them, However, Because It Is Incorrect To Correct Grown People, Even If You Have Grown Them Yourself.

Many Of The Guests Will Eventually Leave The Table To Watch Football On Television, Which Would Be A Rudeness At Any Other Occasion But Is A Relief At Thanksgiving And Probably The Only Way To Get Those People To Budge.

People Say When You're In Love, You Don't Need Etiquette. Well, You Need It Then More Than Anything. Or They Say, "at Home I Can Just Be Myself." What They Mean Is They Can Be Their Worst Selves... They Always Mean They Will Save All Their Anxiety About How To Behave For Somebody Like The Head Waiter Of A Restaurant, Someone They'll Never See Again.