Whatever You Do, You're Going To Be

Americans, Too Many Of Them, Take Themselves Too Seriously. You're Going To Get Rapped - By The Viewers, By The Sponsors And By The Network Brass - If You Joke About Doctors, Lawyers, Dentists, Scientists, Bus Drivers, I Don't Care Who. You Can't Make A Joke About Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, Politicians, Dogs Or Cats. In Fact, Politicians, Dogs And Cats Are The Most Sacred Institutions In America.

Happiness Is Seeing Your Son Drafted The Same Day He's Been Accepted To An Expensive College.

The Champagne They Have Stored Is Getting More Valuable Every Year.

Happiness Is.....finding Two Olives In Your Martini When Youre Hungry.

Happiness Is Being Served With A Paternity Suit On Your 75th Birthday.